Diary of Archer TillDeath

College Essay

Thu, 14 Aug 2008 19:30:19 +0530

This is an actual essay written by a college applicant. The author,Hugh Gallagher, now attends NYU.

3A. ESSAY: IN ORDER FOR THE ADMISSIONS STAFF OF OUR COLLEGE TO GET TO
KNOW YOU, THE APPLICANT, BETTER, WE ASK THAT YOU ANSWER THE FOLLOWING
QUESTION: ARE THERE ANY SIGNIFICANT EXPERIENCES YOU HAVE HAD, OR
ACCOMPLISHMENTS YOU HAVE REALIZED, THAT HAVE HELPED TO DEFINE YOU AS A
PERSON?

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I
have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making
them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic
slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time
efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.

I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot
bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook
Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a
veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.

Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly
defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious
army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the
subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large
suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On
Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of
charge.

I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie.
Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear.
I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I
have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last
summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force
demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me
fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.

I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy.
I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day
and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I
know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have
performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week;
when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I
successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a
small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.

I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On
weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami.
Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down.
I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a
toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San
Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the
Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and
I have spoken with Elvis.

But I have not yet gone to college.

My Intelligence

Thu, 14 Aug 2008 19:25:01 +0530

Perfect Woman

Thu, 14 Aug 2008 19:20:15 +0530

Hey Check out dis flash

Love not !

Mon, 04 Aug 2008 21:34:52 +0530

Love not, love not, ye hapless sons of clay!
Hope's gayest wreaths are made of earthly flowers,--
Things that are made to fade and fall away
Ere they have blossomed for a few short hours.
Love not!

Love not! the thing ye love may change;
The rosy lip may cease to smile on you,
The kindly-beaming eye grow cold and strange,
The heart still warmly beat, yet not be true.
Love not!

Love not! the thing you love may die,--
May perish from the gay and gladsome earth;
The silent stars, the blue and smiling sky,
Beam o'er its grave, as once upon its birth.
Love not!

Love not! O warning vainly said
In present hours as in years gone by!
Love flings a halo round the dear one's head,
Faultless, immortal, till they change or die.
Love not!

O Moon!

Sat, 19 Jul 2008 23:51:13 +0530

With how sad steps, O Moon! thou climb'st the skies,How silently, and with how wan a face!
What may it be, that even in heavenly place
That busy Archer his sharp arrows tries?
Sure, if that long-with-love-acquainted eyes
Can judge of love, thou feel'st a lover's case;
I read it in thy looks; thy languished grace
To me, that feel the like, thy state descries.
Then, even of fellowship, O Moon, tell me,
Is constant love deemed there but want of wit?
Are beauties there as proud as here they be?
Do they above love to be loved, and yet
Those lovers scorn whom that love doth possess?
Do they call virtue there ungratefulness?

Nadir

Wed, 09 Jan 2008 19:33:14 +0530

I feel I can hear the thunder, Have I made a costly blunder.
I've been wrong for so many days,
I feel its time to mend old ways.
Staring beneath this stark gloom,
What is the probability that I'll bloom.
For I shall leave no matter on to you now,
I know I must do it how.
Do i look crestfallen,
Dare you say that coz I have not yet fallen.
People speak but I don't hear,
Oblivion is the cause of my fear.
Deep runs this root of fear,
I try to put my spirits in high gear.
This fear and darkness withstanding,
I shall fight till I'm the last man standing.
Now that I've made my mind,
Not so much need for you to be kind.
I know what I've done and whats right,
Theres no way you can win this fight.
A man of action and less words,
Thus i pen together so many words.
Hope this surprises none at all,
In the end I shall have a ball.

No Point In Authority

Thu, 03 Jan 2008 13:04:45 +0530

When people have too much authority, that's what I always pity.
Authority is never absolute, one day it shall be taken away.
For so many things you've had to loot, you shall be held at bay.

Don't you think I'm freakin now,
Dare you ask me how!
Frustration buildin in my head, agitation in my blood.
I'm gonna finish this adventure now,
Don't you dare to venture now.
Accumulated bits and scraps till now,
All I've put in this urn.
And you still wonder how, I manage to do it for thou.
Emotions have upturned, Rage splurges in my head.
Now its time to burn, so I set fire to the urn.

Certainly lifes no jingle bells, this is what my experience tells.

Wriggling like a worm in salt, I hope it never halts.
Death shall be nowhere near you, Still life shall cower you.
For all the sins you've committed, and never even admitted.
You shall be hung and slung, till centrifuge tears your lung.
There shall be tears in no ones eyes, They know what happens when people say so much lies.
Surgeons shall play their part, When they'll cut your limbs apart.
And stuff you in a dune of salt.
You shall writhe and wriggle of pain, But shall not yet be slain.
You'll have memories, of what you did when your days were at ease.

I'm no God to punish you this way, but He's not cruel any way.
If I thus had my way, in this world you would not stay.
I dedicate this poem to you this way, check it out when you get a break.
Around us when there are clouds of war, this shall not happen very loud.
No one shall ever know, now truly I had my way, how cruely you passed away.

These plans I don't mastermind, when I see your face they come to my mind.
With each fake smile you smile, I feel like smashing you on a tile.
You do things without any reason, and you try to charge me of treason.
False are the words you say, you cheat in the games you play.

And you shall crave for death, you shall get momentary breath.
It shall be no circle of death, but rather a line of death.
Stuck on one end you'ld rather die to see the other,
The other ends death I hope you know,
That's how I kill you slow.

But you need not worry that much now,
You shall be killed at my behest, Just out of courtesy.

This poem is dedicated to Langda Tyagi.
Cheers !

Live

Tue, 01 Jan 2008 20:14:39 +0530

I think of hope, I think of despair. I like this duality, though it bamboozles me. My perception of reality drives me paranoid. Is it the truth that i seek inside? But if i seek it then it is yet undone. Then

how can it be called the truth. And so i think, truth defines past and present and certainly not the future. So what you visualize maybe the truth, unless it turns into despair. Thus i classify hope as eternal and a momentary despair. Despair comes and goes but hope lives on to influence peoples lives. An optimist through and through, I try to spread this message of hope. Small things have great potential. It is upon us to discover and understand them. Live life as it comes. Let life fell bad that it came and went from you, and not that it came to you. Revelations small or big shall occur all through your life. Do not believe in re-incarnations, they"re just an excuse to keep things as they are. Believe in the truth and the truth that happens to you. Every soul experiences a different truth and many may be same. But please heed my words, its all part of the game. Learn from the past as they explain much, but always be ready to welcome a new and maybe a different future.
Never loose hope, give your 100%.
Please atleast now that its time to live.

Paranoia

Tue, 01 Jan 2008 20:12:07 +0530

You can peek inside my eyes, its a guarantee, you shall see no lies.

You can blow my head apart, I can help you play your part.

Weird are the games i play, naked are the words i say.
You have to know the rules, for this is as simple as Boole's.

You like to play with fire, but can you face its ire.
What rises high has to fall, but that falls need not rise.

Don't read these words all alone,
For these have been written by a loner known.
It gives you no hope, but promises despair,
But do you really think that is what i care.

This my obsession, I like very much possession.
Is it that difficult to see through me, Now that I've simplified.

I see from beneath my eyes, so many people say so many lies.
I shall speak no lie to you, I shall not be offending you.
By now if you are stung, I know it cant be undone.

I walk many roads I say, for this is my errand.
But what i always see, is a deadly dead-end.

I seek no pleasure, coz I'm devoid of pain.
In this world of infinites, there is still so much to gain.

Emotions are like the tide, they rise and they fall.
But why don't you think I'm worthy of it all.

Now that I've collected so much sand, should it be blown in the air.

I just hope you understand, for that is what I care.

Yes ! That is what I care.

Yin Yang

Mon, 31 Dec 2007 12:46:56 +0530

Gazing into the bright daylight, I start to wonder. Is it Gods wonder or a disastrous blunder. For things are hidden not only by darkness but also by bright light. Darkness hides them who have no light. While the brightest of lights hides the other dull ones. Achieving small things may give you somewhat luminescence. While achieving none brings you nothing but darkness, and leaves you to bask under others light. So, what big is there to achieve in this world. It need not be something material. I think it can be anything. But it is something that few people know but still don't have knowledge of. Will it make you happy i ask? Not necessary as the brightest of lights have a raging heat inside them, at the same time this is their motivation. But i talk of luminescence, which is light without heat. Thus i confuse and contradict myself. My mind plays games of which i know not the rules. I hate experience to be considered in this case and every other. I feel only life can teach me these answers as i move alone. Gradually i shall know more, not because i'll live more, but because i'll think more.